Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Whoring Comments

Why don't we all try and get me 100 comments?

To make it more exciting there will be a prize. In fact several prizes. There will be spot prizes for humour and pathos. There will be a prize for comment 50 and comment 100. These exciting prizes will consist of exciting found objets from around our exquisite mansion. There may be some stickers, a couple of choccies from my birthday box (although I haven't got it yet, I know where they are), an condom or two (new!), some teeth whitening strips. These prizes will be heirloom pieces of 21st Century New Art. Just wait til I'm famous to recoup your efforts.

Inspiration for this challenge comes from bloody bastards who get hundreds of comments without trying, and Alan who got 100 some time ago (but I couldn't find the link).

And to get things started I'll tell you a secret. Macleans Whitening Strips. They're fantastic, and only $14 at Woolies this week. Try them, you'll be impressed and not need to go to the dentist for 10 years.

168 comments:

Make Tea Not War said...

I hope there will be a good prize for being first! I shall definitely seek out out those MacLeans Whitening Strips.

Also based on scientific research or actually my half assed observations to drum up comments do a huge blitz of commenting on other peoples blogs whether or not you have read their blogs or ever intend to read them again. At least half of them will probably feel obliged to reciprocate. I hope there is another prize for "helpful" advice!

Em said...

Here I am, proudly at number two. I can back up the advice above, as I rarely comment on other blogs, with the result that no one comments on mine! Oh alas, the travails of finding one's self worth from an online popularity contest...

Was that pathos enough?

David said...

I am most certainly not going to contribute to this farce!

Alan said...

Happy to assist. The posting you referred to was this one, and it really worked. I didn't even have to offer prizes! After that time, very few of my postings attracted no comments, so stunts like this do work.

What's wrong with yellow teeth anyway? They help make one's skin look fashionably pale!

Tristan said...

no comment!

Martha said...

and they give away ones caffeine addiction!

I can't really be arsed commenting on blogs I don't read. I only ever go perusing if someone visits me first (so I guess it works for them).

Thanks for commenting, please feel free to comment again and again.

Tristan said...

hmmm right you have attracted 6...err 7 comments in about 100 minutes.

By my calculation you should reach the 100 mark in about 10 hours...

so stroll back in here at about 7 tonight...

Veification code: Medak

Medak n. A mountain bovcine who is currently on medication.

The Editter said...

you mentioned 4 kinds of potential prizes yet only 2 prize slots. 50 is a long way to go, need more motivation...

Martha said...

If I manage to keep running inside and replying we might reach target a bit sooner.

But the sun is shining and the birds are singing and it is much nicer outside.

My laptop goes wireless in 3 weeks, so I'll be blogging away quite happily out in nature.

Martha said...

Spot prizes Editter! Wit and charm will get you everywhere, and prizes up to the caliber of christmas crackers from the Warehouse.

Martha said...

Perhaps I'll just comment a lot.

Alan, having looked at yours I'm thinking I'm not going to make my target. I need legions of dedicated fans. And has Sarah popped up anywhere? I saw a comment on halfpie a while ago, but nothing since. I hope she isn't secretly blogging and I don't know about it. I miss her.

Perhaps I'll turn the word verification off for a few hours. That should make it easier for everyone.

noizy said...

vote sunnyO!

noizy said...

Anyone headed down to the King Kong red carpet thing this afternoon?

Kate said...

It certainly is a cracker day! What the hell am I doing in an office? oh.. um, I guess I'm working. (cough)

Good luck with your quest!

Make Tea Not War said...

Ok, I thought of something else to say. My daughter absolutely hates the Wiggles. If I want her to stop whinging or to co-operate all I have to do is threaten to put the Wiggles on. Then she immediately becomes more co-operative because her energy is all taken up by saying "No Mummy! Not Wiggles! Wiggles nasty!"

So-- how about a prize for best non sequitur?!?

Martha said...

Make Tea, I'm shocked! I know that kids find certain characters objectionable (my nephew hates Captain Feathersword) bu the whole happy crew? Shocking.

Kate, yes, it is gorgeous. In fact I am very hot and red it is so gorgeous. We just went for a walk and had a juice and gelato, and still I'm hot.

Martha said...

Figured I may as well space this commenting out...

James,yeah vote Sunnyo! And by saying so Llew owes me a comment towards my hundred.

Nope, not going to King King thingy. I'd love to, but logistics are a bit of a nightmare. When the kids are older I'll hopefully be able to bring them into town on the train more oftern.

Martha said...

In terms of prize, while i was out on my walk I found a pouch of Port Royal - with papers and filters... wow. That goes into the prize pool too.

David said...

Since I'm not having anything to do with this, then my comments don't count towards the total. Please deduct 2 from the count showing in Blogger.

Martha said...

Sounds fair to me David. I will also take back the prize you had won for being the most foreign.

Violet said...

Another thing that'll up your comments stats is making your blog open to spam comments. This will also increcase your awareness of penis enlargement products (potential Chrissy prezzies?).

Alan said...

Martha: I miss Sarah too. She's out there somewhere.

And, what kind of kid doesn't like the Wiggles? I'd be worried: what does this mean for their future?

Martha said...

Good call Violet. And the penis enlargement spam might open up my blog to more people searching for porn, who might get pissed off and comment.

reshma said...

Hiya!

I guess I can make the effort to try and get you too 100 comments!

Don't hav much to say though...I'm off to North City Plaza in Porirua!

Enjoy your day Martha!

Pink Flamingo aka Reshma! ;-)

Martha said...

Thanks Reshma, every comment counts.

Mmm, they do good sushi at the foodcourt there, but beware the laksa. I got very unwell after eating laksa there once.

Noski said...

Atsui desu ka? Nippon wa samui desu.
(Do I get a prize for most obscure comment?)

C Feathersword said...

Ahoy there me Hearties!

Martha said...

Hai, atsui desu ne.

Not obscure enough for your cunning linguist of a sister.

But I'll give you a prize since you've sent me presents.

santa's little helper said...

Penis Enlargment Pills not doing it for you? Anyone still stuck for Christmas present ideas for the Man in their life check out these most excellent creations....

http://yarnpants.blogspot.com/2004/11/museum-of-kitschy-stitches-vol-iii.html

Martha said...

Captain! Are you on the good ship feathersword?

And Santa's Little halper, are you serious?

s.l.h. said...

Oh, and ideas for the Laaadies ;o)

http://yarnpants.blogspot.com/2004/10/museum-of-kitschy-stitches-vol-ii-you.html

Martha said...

Santa's helper - thanks! You've solved all my shopping dilemmas. One word - cableknit. Fabulous

llew said...

33!

Kate said...

Has anyone else noticed that (apart from Stant's little helpe ;P) there's pretty much no spam on blogs anymore? yay!

34 ;)

Jo Hubris said...

You know what makes me laugh about the King Kong thing? I'm watching a live stream of Courtenay Place right now on my computer. Do you know where the camera is? In the office above me. Sure, I could turn around and look out a window, but that'd be too easy...

Martha said...

Ah ha, I think I have just worked out where you work.

Jo Hubris said...

Shoosh, don't tell anyone okay? If my Secret Identity is revealed, I will be no use to the CIA anymore and they'll wack me.

Anonymous said...

I voted for llew. I put a comment here. Who else has their hand out?

Ho ho whatever,
Tired Santa

Tired Santa again said...

By the way, are these the same Whitening Strips that wil be at the Big Day Out?

Martha said...

Jo, your secret is safe with me.

And Tired Santa, if it isn't too much trouble, could I please get a new Tivoli Clock Radio? Cheers.

Martha said...

And Santa, yes, the very same. They have franchised their brand of minty goodness.

The Editter said...

I'm going to have a jack at the King Kong parade, not at The Jack (Black) seeing as he won't be there. Neither will the charming and witty Martha, perhaps there is no point in going after all.

Brena said...

Who killed Bambino? *SOB*

David said...

This is a third comment you'll need to deduct from the grand total. Unless the prize for foreigness is a good one. I'm open to bribes.

Martha said...

Editter - hope it rocked, and you made inappropriate lewd remarks to famous people.

Brena, I know. It pains me also, but really I think Bambino is in a happier place, with people who love him very much.

David, I've got a lovely purple balloon. Will that do?

Martha said...

by the way folks. I seem to have broken my modem, which is okay really as I'm getting a new one January 4th, but bloggage may be a little sporadic as I have to do it now with my elbow tilted at a VERY specific angle.

Tired Santa said...

I make that 78, but I had to give my calculator to a kid in Seatoun.

I could give you the clock radio, but you would have to promise not use it to listen to More FM

Alan said...

Only 47? Come on, folks. We must do better. For The Children, I beg you.

Martha said...

Tired Santa, I have never, nor ever intend to listen to More FM, so can I have it please?

Alan. You're quite right. Without 100 comments where would the children be?

And I have to stop commenting for a spell so as not to win the 50th post prize myself. I have in fact eaten most of the chocolate prize already. I hope the winner likes caramello and fudge flavoured Roses (bleurghhh).

hers said...

50?

hers said...

But I don't want any condoms. OK?

Mr Reasonable said...

I'm sitting here listening to the excellent Dean Gray American Edit - did you manage to get the whole albumn? Boulevard of Broken Songs and Dr Who on Holiday are real neat. Feel obliged to go buy the Green Day albumn now.

c'lam said...

still trying?

Martha said...

Hers! Well done. You'll have to send me your address, my email is on my profile. And no condoms, perhaps a balloon instead.

Mr R, nope, didn't persist. Woosh is too slow. I'm getting cable broadband soon, so i'll be downloading for Africa.

Dee.run said...

Good luck getting 100 I have only had 101 comments altogether over the last nine months!
I guess my life must be dull ;-)

Mike said...

As your Southern representative I would like say that we whole heartedly support and endorse this comment gaining campaign. I believe that the youth of today ... blah blah blah ... and therefore I'd just like to say again that this fine community idea is in the country's best interests and that blog comments, spot prizes and an almost wild abandonment of principles has always been a core component of this parties manfiesto for a better New Zealand.

(re-hash of a previous comment, sorry was in a nostalgic moment)

Oh, and Vote for SunnyO!

Sarah said...

I'll throw in one. Entirely humour and pathos free, but we're going for quantity here right, not quality?

Alan said...

Definitely quantity, although I'm sure Martha would prefer we keep to the standard of scintillating, glittering discourse displayed thus far.

I think.

Mandy said...

If you've disqualified David then can I have the balloon? Cos I'm half a planet more foreign than he is.
And 59 is a dull, if essential-in-its-way number.

Mandy said...

...and on reflection, he sort of owes me anyway....

Mandy said...

...and if we argued it out here...

Mandy said...

...it would bump your numbers up nicely...

Mandy said...

..even if his didn't officially count towards the total.

Mandy said...

64. That's gotta help.

Mandy said...

Oh, I meant 'argued'.

Mandy said...

Obviously.

Mandy said...

As against REALLY arguing, that is.

Mandy said...

I'm going to have my dinner now.

tinks said...

Good morning my fellow Post Whores. What excitement will today bring?

tinks said...

Like sands through the Wanda Harland Blog, so are the days of our lives...

Make Tea Not War said...

Oh dear, I just can't handle the pressure of coming up with a comment in these testing circumstances so I'm just free associating I hope the weather is nice today even though I have to spend it mostly working with perhaps a trip to J'ville mall to engage in rampant consumerism well thats probably more boring information that the world really needed to know about me but in case that wasn't enough after I post this I'm going to have some weetbix and more coffee...

Martha said...

Cripes, we're doing well team. Just one more bit of graft and we'll get there (going with supportive speak at this juncture).

Dee, you need to run your own 100 comment campaign.

Mike, thanks for the support - for Llew, this blog appears to be a vehicle for Llews world domination aspirations, which is fine so long as he bribes me.

Tinks, you're a poet.

Mandy, the balloon is all yours. I'll even decorate it with your name.

Sarah - yay!

Martha said...

Make Tea, nothing is too boring for Wanda Harland. I think if you take a moment to peruse my postings you'll see it is all about rampant consumerism and food. I had muesli and yoghurt by the way. New Hubbard Apple and Berry, very nice too. No coffee yet. Kind of awaiting the arrival of the new grinder later.

And you should try the new mall in Lower Hutt. It is a retail therapy triumph. Even has a L'Occitane shop, so it is a bit pseudo classy.

Emily said...

Are you holding us to ransom, no more posts until 100 comments are reached?

Also I wonder if your own comments count towards the 100, after all you could very cunningly nab all the spot prizes for yourself!!

Tristan said...

i had a really good time at our staff christmas party last night...

just thought you should know.

Martha said...

Emily, I am holding everyone to ransom. I've got some really scintillating posts just waiting for that magic 100 figure.

And there is no way I'll not count my comments - we could be here til February if I do that. Also it is getting a bit cumbersome to navigate through the comments as it is - I've already had to remove peoples pictures and word verification.

About Town - pleased to hear it. Did you photocopy your arse? Were there indiscretions? Drunkeness? Telling the boss what they're doing wrong?

The Editter said...

Ooh that does look like a lovely grinder, where did you buy it?

tinks said...

Did anyine see the news last night about teeth whitening strips?

tinks said...

Someone in a neighbouring office is listening to the sex pistols. I can't decide if it's kinda cool or just wrong.

Martha said...

I did see the tooth whitening thing. I think it was mainly dentists being paranoid about lost business. The Macleans ones seemed to come off okay.

Sex Pistols. In my Buffy life I live now, I can only think of Spike driving off in his black car singing "I did it my way".

Martha said...

Oh Editter, there are a couple of the grinders on Trademe. They're not much more than I paid. Just do a search on Mini Mazzer. They're so beautiful.

So what's with this weather eh? Is it going to rain tomorrow on my birthday?

tinks said...

It wouldn't dare!

Kate said...

Maybe you should threaten not to post a new message until you quest is complete. ;)

Em said...

Not another Sagitarian! They're everywhere at this time of year...

Sarah said...

Just to share, I am currently eating the best cream doughnut in the history of doughnuts. I think it might even be from a parallel universe of doughnuts and has somehow slid through a wormhole to appear here, in our own world of mediocre doughnuts.

Martha said...

Sarah, you'd better provide a public service announcement and share where it is from. People would lose a limb for a doughnut so good. I have to say that I have had some nice apple doughnuts from Mr Bun, real cream, lots of apple mmmm.

Once I was working as a caterer at a law firm. The other caterer and I used to skive off sometimes to the Parkroyal for a beer or a cuppa, and they had the most delicious jam doughnuts.

Kate. You're quite right, I shan't post until this ridiculous mission is over. That is why I keep replying, to hasten the process.

Em - you know Saggs are the best don't you. All other star signs aspire to our Narnian status.

Kate said...

Looking forward to seeing your new fancy toy ;)

See I commented here and not on the actual post... every bit helps!

Martha said...

Thanks Kate, we're almost there. I feel like I've climbed a mountain, such an achievement.

Kate said...

Fantastic!

Emily said...

Man it is hot! Is Wellington turning into Sydney? Next minute there'll be race riots at Oriental Bay as we all try and squeeze into 200m of sand and play footie.

Brena said...

Oh look another comment...

Brena said...

Oh it's super humid in Napier too! Rain dammit...

Martha said...

Bloody Australia, you're much better out of there Emily. It is just so seedy and cringe-worthy.

Brena, you wouldn't recognise Welly if you came here. I'm sitting in a singlet, and I NEVER go scantily clad. It is tropical. I wonder if this is global warming? Wellington gets Auckland's weather.

Make Tea Not War said...

I'm wearing a singlet too. This is something that never ever happens normally as I have been terrified out of it by Trini and Susannah going on about how ladies of a certain age who don't have perfectly toned upper arms should not wear sleeveless tops but its just waaaay too hot to care. And plus there is no one here but me. Hooray for working at home! I shall definitely do some soon.

Make Tea Not War said...

And also...no, actually that is all I had to say.

Make Tea Not War said...

Oh wait...nope... definitely that is all.

Anonymous said...

Nearly there Matipo!

Brena said...

Oh look someone like me left another comment...

Martha said...

Bloody Trini and Susannah. Ignore I say.

Thanks Pamela! Now everyone knows I'm not really Wanda...

And Brena, we're almost there, keep it up.

Anonymous said...

wahoo! And it's the Mother's work colleague who takes out position 100....

Kate said...

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Martha said...

Yay! Balloons dropping from the ceiling! Herald Angels singing! 100! Now we just have to keep this up everyday and I'll surely be able to make a living writing dross.

Thanks for all your comments. (Elvis voice now) I love you all, every one of you.

Actually Barry White voice would have done the trick too.

Kate said...

So now you've made it to 100+, what is your next dream? What are you goals? What are you hopes for the future?

I'm wearing a sleeveless dress it's so bloody hot in downtown Welly.

Brena said...

Go for 200?

Mike said...

200 it is ...

Jo Hubris said...

Trinny and Susannah can go suck a fuck. The world is not going to end if it sees my flabby upper arms.

Martha said...

Jo, succinctly put. Agreed.

Mike and Brena, not on your nellies. I can't handle the pressure.

Kate, I'm just not sure what to aspire to next. After reaching such heady heights would anything else satisfy?

I'm thinking maybe next time I'll aspire to lotto. That seems like a worthy dream.

Brena said...

But if we just keep going there will be no end. Can you control your beast professor?

Hehe...

Martha said...

YOu know I can't! I'm driven to reply. This could go forever, perhaps as a world record type forever type blog type thing...

Brena said...

Let's play tag. You're in...

Martha said...

okay - run run pant pant - tag! You're in

Brena said...

Nah don't wanna play that now. How about hide and seek? I'll go hide you count to 100...

Martha said...

Honestly Brena, you'll never find me, I have the best hiding place EVER.

So, we're not far off 200. Shall we discuss dinner? We had a couple of nice salads followed by lots of chocolate and Buffy. Oh, and a cup of Earl Grey.

David said...

Martha is responsible for 33 comments. Which, I think, do not count towards the grand total. Which would leave us short of 100.

Martha said...

David, I'm the boss here, and of course my comments count.

Crikey.

Jo Hubris said...

Where are you up to in Buffy now?

David said...

So anyone with a free evening and an ability to type could do a "ton", or a "wanda", or whatever the big 100 will be known as in future. Without any involvement from others. I think not!

You need more and bigger bribes.

Mandy said...

Another 16..

Mandy said...

...and there'd be no arguments...

Mandy said...

...even from picky people...

Mandy said...

...or my co-blogger....

Mandy said...

...assuming my maths are right...

Mandy said...

...I mean, it just needs to get up to 133...

Mandy said...

...right?

Mandy said...

..and it's not far off that now...

Mandy said...

...of course if David's five don't count..

Mandy said...

..it would need to be 138...

Mandy said...

...but I'm not sure I want to go on THAT long....

Mandy said...

..I mean I haven't had lunch yet...

Mandy said...

...and I've shedloads to do...

Mandy said...

...and I need to work out what to wear...

Mandy said...

..to tonight's Chrimbo bash

Mandy said...

...and I don't want to hog Wanda's blog, even in a good cause.

That should be 133 and sorted.

Mandy said...

But

Mandy said...

here are

Mandy said...

the extras

Mandy said...

to be on

Mandy said...

the safe side.

Mandy said...

And one for luck.
Bye!

Martha said...

Thanks Mandy. Your co-blogger is a pedant, but entirely on the wrong foot. If people want a hundred comments, and want to do it themselves, it is their perogative. However, you have nicely sorted it out so the naysayers can say nowt.

So prize for Mandy! For being the most prolific.

Martha said...

Jo, we're halfway through season 3. Giles has been sacked, and Buffy and Angel just got the fat demon. The mayor is ready to roll.

Does that mean I need to get Angel Season 1 ready to go?

Mike said...

200 seems reasonable to me ...

Mike said...

Maybe

Mike said...

Or is it ...

Mike said...

Hmm, maybe not ... I mean, it is a lot

Mike said...

Oh! My Golly.

Just tried to call someone (without a DDI) and when I asked to be put through to the relevant extension it came back to the guy putting me through. I asked if I could just leave a voicemail message and he said ... prepare yourself ... I'm sorry, the line seems to be busy so I can't put you through to voicemail.

I'm blogging AND sending this to Dilbert

Mike said...

And on we go ...

Dallen said...

You might just break a record

Brena said...

Maybe just maybe. Is there a record?

Kate said...

Nah - I've def seen more then 149.

Kate said...

But I wonder if it helps with her search rank?!

Martha said...

I guess it can't do it any harm. At the very least I may stop being a lowly insect eventually.

Mike said...

Nah, comments are specifically excluded from Google malarkey

Mike said...

Interesting how people have stopped though

Mike said...

Set 'em a goal (100) and then the race is over

Mike said...

Where's the personal goals?

Mike said...

I feel like I'm running around the track at 6:37pm, everyone's gone home and the meet has finished.

Mike said...

The trainer is sitting in the stands watching but really wants me to stop so he can also go home

Mike said...

But I refuse.

Very me.

Mike said...

well, I've enjoyed this time alone, nice to have a time to contemplate life

Mike said...

Good to see where I come from and just check in with the universe. So, on that note, I'll let you go for the day and be back l8r

Mike said...

Oh, hang on, what about the last question raised by Martha? Anyone got the answer?

Martha said...

Mike, you're doing a champion job. Only 37 more comments and we'll be there. While you get on with it, I'm gonna watch a couple of episodes of Buffy.

Jessie said...

Looks like I missed out on a party..

Brena said...

One last push?

Mike said...

Nah, bored now

Martha said...

Me too. I'm pretty pleased with 168 though!

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